Blind date

So, my super TBM (true believing Mormon) best friend wants to set me up with one of her husband's friends from New Zealand. She swears up and down that it's "not just because you're both single." (I wonder if she would put her hand on a stack of Book of Mormons and swear that?)

Anyway, she described him as a "good church member" and all that. Ugh. Since I no longer believe in the church, that's not exactly what I'm looking for in a man.

The problem is, she doesn't know that. I'm afraid that if I told her, I would pretty much lose her forever and I couldn't deal with it.

One of her friends from college left the church and came out as a lesbian, and even though they still talk occasionally, I know things aren't the same. She sighs sadly over "Cora" and says that she is "still a good person," and "once she works through her issues *she will come back."

(*Uh, yeah. Somehow I doubt it.)

And I can't handle the thought of her saying stuff like that about me. It just hurts too much.

So, if I said I wasn't interested, it would raise suspicions. But on the other hand, I feel uncomfortable saying yes.

If this guy really is a "good church member," he likely wants to get married in the temple, and I have no intention of ever setting foot in one of those.

He would likely want to have children, and I have never wanted to be a mother.

And I could go on and on, but it comes down to this:

To a majority of believing Mormons, the church is the most important thing in their lives, and they would not want a relationship with someone who feels differently.

After being born and raised in the church, I have investigated it and found it to be a fraud. I'm never going back. I feel like going on a date with him would be a waste of his time and mine.

Am I taking this all too seriously? I tend to do that.

Pros:

1. It might be fun


2. I haven't been on a date in awhile and it would be a chance to practice my social skills (sadly lacking due to the cloud of despair my job leaves me in)


3. He's going back to New Zealand anyway, so who cares?


4. I could tell "Elliot" about it and maybe he'd be jealous (just kidding, sort of)


5. At least he will have a lovely NZ accent like Bret and Jemaine :)

Cons:

1. It feels kind of dishonest


2. And like a waste of time


3. I'm tired and I just don't care about much of anything, especially getting through an evening with someone who probably has very different goals/plans for life than I do


4. He'd probably be bored with me anyway.


5. Or I'll feel guilty for not being interested in him, and go home and drink an entire bottle of wine by myself. (Hypothetically speaking, of course).

So what do you think I should do?

When she first mentioned it back in November, she said "Wouldn't it be so cool if two best friends from the US ended up with two best friends from NZ?"

And I just knew she was imagining us living next door to eachother in New Zealand, taking our kids to church together, etc.

As fun as it probably would be to live in a country as beautiful as New Zealand, being married to a TBM and faking belief in the Mormon church is way too far to go for a green card.