I wandered into the kitchen and found a gigantic, furry bumble bee crawling across the floor. At first I thought it was some kind of spider. I'm surprised the entire neighborhood didn't hear my screams.
How the f*ck did it get in? I don't leave any doors or windows open, ever, specifically to prevent bugs from getting in. Where the hell did it come from? I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight wondering...
Anyway, I killed it by drowning it in Scrubbing Bubbles Foaming Shower Cleaner. For some reason, it didn't look like it could fly. Really, how did it get in? I opened and shut the door as quickly as possible when I left and when I got home. Where the hell did it come from??
Ugh. Obviously, I need to move to a place where the front door opens to a hallway, not the outside. I hate bugs. I'm sick of finding them in here and having to kill them. I've so had it with this place.
Also on the topic of annoying pests, after dumping the dead bee outside in the neighbors' yard, I found a little present on my doorstep. Apparently, my visiting teachers had stopped by and left a little present for me.
A gift card to Spoon Me (a frozen yogurt place I had never heard of until today) with a copy of a talk from April 2009 General Conference called "The Way of the Disciple."
They had helpfully underlined certain phrases, like "The gospel of Jesus Christ has the answers to all of our problems" (can it keep disgusting bugs from getting into my apartment?) and "the restored gospel of our Lord has the power to fill any emptiness, heal any wound, and bridge any vale of sorrow."
So that's a fro-yo with a huge side serving of self-righteousness then? No thanks.
You know what would really fill my emptiness and bridge my vale of sorrow? If my landlords would fix the damn doors and windows so that no more bugs get in, and upgrade the cable to include HBO.
Because I've just watched the Season 1 DVDs of True Blood (for the second time) and Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer) is my new TV boyfriend.
There are no words...
Oh, and it looks like the gift card has already been used a few times. WTF?
Anyway, if you managed to make it this far, thank you. Please enjoy this clip from True Blood:
6 comments:
A used gift card? Niiiice. There's a Spoon Me in Provo so you can take me with you and have yogurt without self-righteousness.
Isn't it classy? I don't even know how much is on it, but let's definitely get some frozen yogurt next time I see you.
And let's make sure to talk about something non-self-righteous. Like how hot Stephen Moyer is...
Unnnnf, Stephen Moyer. Have you heard his British accent? Uhmugawd, it is delicious.
Yes I have. Totally delicious.
Re: The bumblebee... They BURROW through wood. If you have wooden window frames or wooden "headers" that are exposed to the exterior, it's a picnic for them. Go outside and see if you can find a dime-sized hole around any of your windows and plug it with steel wool [available at any hardware store].
Yikes... I had no idea. Thanks graciesdaddy! That's good to know.
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