House Hunting...

...Continues to suck.

Today Mikey showed me some condos that I actually really liked. The problem? I set a limit of $200k and these were around $210k.

I know, 10 grand probably shouldn't be a huge concern, but when I think about borrowing that much money I feel like I'm going to start hyperventilating.

The first complex was brand new, and very tastefully decorated (unlike some other places--which went under contract last week. Let's hope the new owners can afford a good decorator). My concern is that it is in a rather busy, commercial area of Sugarhouse on a corner with alot of traffic.

The second complex was near Emigration Canyon--a lovely location. This one had 3 bedrooms, which is alot more space than I need; and 2 parking spaces in the garage (for that second car I've been wanting, LOL).

I can just guess what my dad would say: "With that one, you could get a roommate to help with the mortgage!" Even though he knows that I've had horrible roommate experiences and that living in my car sounds more fun than giving that another try. *shudder*

Basically, if someone handed me $200k and said "Here's some cash, you have 1 minute to choose a new home," I'd gladly pick any of the units I walked through tonight...

...But no one is going to do that. I am completely on my own. If something bad happens to me and I can't pay my mortgage, I'm screwed. No one is going to help me. If an appliance breaks or there's a problem with the plumbing, etc, there's no landlord to complain to--I'm responsible for it. If I have a nervous breakdown because I'm so sick of living in Utah, I'd have to sell my home before I could leave here.

I'm torn. I was looking at my apartment last night and thinking how much I hate it and want something nicer; something that's mine to do whatever I want with. But the responsibility and the financial commitment necessary for that terrify me.

Maybe a part of it is because I always figured I'd be doing this with someone else--like a boyfriend or husband. But doing it all by myself is overwhelming, and makes me feel more alone than ever. I've always thought of myself as being very independent, and now I am questioning that.

Besides the somewhat shocking prices of these condos, there was another surprise this evening: I found out that Mikey is the same age as me. Dude must have a portrait hidden in the attic that's aging for him, because when I met him I wondered when the local high schools started offering work release programs in real estate.



People sometimes tell me that I look younger than my age, but next to him I probably look like an old hag. I'm not sure how I feel about buying a home from someone who looks younger and prettier than me... ;)

I'll stop rambling now. Pictures will be posted later.

FYT: Behind the scenes of the upcoming film, Dorian Gray.